Disrupting a class with your cell phone: three classic strategies
0 Comments Published by bill hilton on Sunday, September 03, 2006 at 10:42 PM.
Anyone under the age of 14 will tell you that the a cell phone is an ideal tool for causing mayhem in the classroom. That's why the damn things were invented. If people wanted a piece of mobile technology just to communicate with one another we'd still be using paper cups and very long pieces of string.
If you know any little kids, here are three tips to pass on to them before school starts - each guaranteed to give teachers' blood the kind of pressure you usually only find in Space Shuttle fuel pumps:
1. First one comes courtesy of Nokia, the first mobile provider (I think) to include calculator modes in their cell phones. In the middle of a lesson, get your phone out and start messing around with it. When your teacher tells you to put it away, say 'but I'm using it as a calculator!' in a bright and helpful voice. Do this even if you're in a history or religious studies lesson. In fact, especially then.
2. In a quiet moment, whip out your cell phone and start flicking through the media gallery. Announce you have a picture of your girlfriend naked and invite the teacher to look at it. Watch his facial expression flit from anger to shock, to prurient interest, to frustrated lust, to shame and then back to anger again, all in the space of about two seconds. If your phone is a Nokia N90 - or any other model with a twist-and-shoot architecture - spin the screen round to face the teacher and say 'I'm bringing it up.....now'. Watch him dive.
3. The greatest gag of all uses a much-overlooked piece of cell phone technology: the voice recorder. Wait until your teacher gets mad, or, even better, provoke him in some way. When he reaches the peak of rage flip on the recorder. Hopefully you'll pick up some slander or obscenity. When he's calmed down, play the recording back at full volume. Put on a serious expression and warn him you're also going to play it to your parents and and to senior staff members. Sit back and enjoy as he spends the rest of the lesson pleading for his career.
Ha, ha ha, all jolly good fun. Please don't actually do any of the above, and if you do, don't tell them it was me that told you.
If you know any little kids, here are three tips to pass on to them before school starts - each guaranteed to give teachers' blood the kind of pressure you usually only find in Space Shuttle fuel pumps:
1. First one comes courtesy of Nokia, the first mobile provider (I think) to include calculator modes in their cell phones. In the middle of a lesson, get your phone out and start messing around with it. When your teacher tells you to put it away, say 'but I'm using it as a calculator!' in a bright and helpful voice. Do this even if you're in a history or religious studies lesson. In fact, especially then.
2. In a quiet moment, whip out your cell phone and start flicking through the media gallery. Announce you have a picture of your girlfriend naked and invite the teacher to look at it. Watch his facial expression flit from anger to shock, to prurient interest, to frustrated lust, to shame and then back to anger again, all in the space of about two seconds. If your phone is a Nokia N90 - or any other model with a twist-and-shoot architecture - spin the screen round to face the teacher and say 'I'm bringing it up.....now'. Watch him dive.
3. The greatest gag of all uses a much-overlooked piece of cell phone technology: the voice recorder. Wait until your teacher gets mad, or, even better, provoke him in some way. When he reaches the peak of rage flip on the recorder. Hopefully you'll pick up some slander or obscenity. When he's calmed down, play the recording back at full volume. Put on a serious expression and warn him you're also going to play it to your parents and and to senior staff members. Sit back and enjoy as he spends the rest of the lesson pleading for his career.
Ha, ha ha, all jolly good fun. Please don't actually do any of the above, and if you do, don't tell them it was me that told you.
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