Howto: use a hands-free kit without seeming insane
0 Comments Published by bill hilton on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 at 4:36 AM.
Even in today's liberal climate, it's socially important not to be perceived as a unstable schizoid maniac. Walking down a busy street using a hands-free kit with your mobile phone may be convenient, but it's not helpful when projecting an image of sanity to the world. You may be talking to your friend Jim who lives in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, but it appears to other people that you are having an animated conversation with yourself. Five key strategies for dealing with this problem:
1. As you walk past other people, smile and point at the side of your head so they can see the bluetooth earpiece you're wearing. This is fine in quiet surroundings, but on a busy street it begins to become impractical and tiring.
2. Push your finger against the hands-free earpiece. This is a very good solution, as it draws the attention of passers-by to the fact you're on the phone to somebody. Unfortunately, it kind of negates the point of using hands-free in the first place. Also, if you have long hair that conceals the earpiece, you'll look a guy who is walking along muttering to himself, with his finger in his ear.
3. Buy two hands-free kits and wear one in each ear. Not only do you get stereo sound, but people on both sides can see you're wearing an earpiece. You look kind of strange from behind, though. At least you won't be able to hear the taunts from the line of teenagers following you, laughing, pointing and throwing stones.
4. Techies only: enlarge and customize your hands-free kit, rerouting the microphone and speakers through a pilot's headset. Complete the look with a pair of aviator shades, a shirt, braided epaulettes and a tie. Everyone will think you are simply a pilot who has taken the wrong exit out of the airport restroom in a strange city and is seeking assistance from Air Traffic Control. For added effect, intersperse your conversation with phrases like "roger that, control" and "this is charlie alpha eight three niner, approaching checkout at TK Maxx - request nav guidance".
5. Dress as an orthodox Jewish rabbi, complete with yarmulke and long side-locks. These will conceal your hands-free kit, and passers-by will simply think you are reciting extracts from the Talmud under your breath. For added realism, offer to perform circumcisions on passing infants.
Alternatively, you could leave your hands free in the car and use your handset like the rest of us.
tags: hands-free, bluetooth, phones
1. As you walk past other people, smile and point at the side of your head so they can see the bluetooth earpiece you're wearing. This is fine in quiet surroundings, but on a busy street it begins to become impractical and tiring.
2. Push your finger against the hands-free earpiece. This is a very good solution, as it draws the attention of passers-by to the fact you're on the phone to somebody. Unfortunately, it kind of negates the point of using hands-free in the first place. Also, if you have long hair that conceals the earpiece, you'll look a guy who is walking along muttering to himself, with his finger in his ear.
3. Buy two hands-free kits and wear one in each ear. Not only do you get stereo sound, but people on both sides can see you're wearing an earpiece. You look kind of strange from behind, though. At least you won't be able to hear the taunts from the line of teenagers following you, laughing, pointing and throwing stones.
4. Techies only: enlarge and customize your hands-free kit, rerouting the microphone and speakers through a pilot's headset. Complete the look with a pair of aviator shades, a shirt, braided epaulettes and a tie. Everyone will think you are simply a pilot who has taken the wrong exit out of the airport restroom in a strange city and is seeking assistance from Air Traffic Control. For added effect, intersperse your conversation with phrases like "roger that, control" and "this is charlie alpha eight three niner, approaching checkout at TK Maxx - request nav guidance".
5. Dress as an orthodox Jewish rabbi, complete with yarmulke and long side-locks. These will conceal your hands-free kit, and passers-by will simply think you are reciting extracts from the Talmud under your breath. For added realism, offer to perform circumcisions on passing infants.
Alternatively, you could leave your hands free in the car and use your handset like the rest of us.
tags: hands-free, bluetooth, phones
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